Right Relationship + Horsemanship
From the Archive
The following piece was written several years ago during a period when much of my work centred around horses. The ideas explored here around trust, ethics and relationship with animals continue to shape the broader work I now share through Her WildLife.
Let us start at the beginning, because everything begins with relationship.
Throughout my career working with animals I have come to recognise two core ideas that sit at the centre of ethical training and handling across species.
The first is trust.
The second is what I think of as right relationship.
These two concepts are inseparable. When we begin working with any animal, whether horse or otherwise, both should sit firmly at the foundation of our approach.
Trust grows from relationship. Relationship shapes trust.
The concept of right relationship deserves deeper consideration than it often receives.
Over the past few decades science itself has begun to shift towards a more relational understanding of the natural world.
As Geoffrey Garver and Peter Brown wrote:
“Over just the last two decades, science has radically altered its view of the arrangement both of life and of non living components of the earth. New understandings are emerging that place relationship at the centre. Biology and physics are moving away from a reductionist view of function, in which the activity of a living cell or an ecosystem is explained only by reducing it to its parts, rather than including the relationships between those parts as essential to understanding.”
In other words, relationship is not simply something we add to our understanding of the world. Relationship is fundamental to how living systems function.
For me, right relationship forms the foundation not only of working with animals but also of how we live our daily lives.
It begins with recognising that separation is largely an illusion. We exist within networks of relationship with other beings and with the environment itself.
When we look at a horse through this lens we see not an object to be controlled, but a sentient individual participating in a shared interaction.
A simple way of describing this idea might be the old ethical principle: treat another being as you would wish to be treated yourself.
Right relationship invites us to take responsibility not only for how we manage and care for our horses, but also for the quality of our own thoughts, emotions and actions when we interact with them.
So how might we begin cultivating right relationship in our work with horses?
1. Daily care and environment
Right relationship begins with how a horse lives.
We must consider their physical wellbeing, their safety and their social needs. This includes nutrition, environment, opportunities for movement and the ability to express natural behaviours.
Enrichment, thoughtful husbandry and allowing the horse some degree of voluntary participation in their care all contribute to a healthier relationship.
2. Communication
My goal in training is always to build a horse up rather than break a horse down.
Communication should be clear, patient and respectful. When the horse understands what is being asked and feels safe within the interaction, trust begins to develop.
This requires us to establish clear intentions, healthy boundaries and a genuine awareness of the horse’s emotional and behavioural thresholds.
It also requires presence. A distracted or emotionally reactive human rarely communicates well with a horse.
3. Progressive learning
Training should remain progressive and mentally engaging.
When we become stuck repeating a single task long past its usefulness, the experience can become frustrating or aversive for the horse.
Movement, curiosity and variation keep learning alive. Horses are animals built for movement. Their physical and mental wellbeing depends on it.
4. Self awareness
Perhaps the most overlooked aspect of right relationship is our own inner state.
We all carry personal experiences, emotions and stress into the spaces where we work with animals. Without awareness it is very easy to project those internal states onto the horse.
When we cultivate self awareness we become less reactive and more capable of responding thoughtfully. That awareness creates space for clearer communication and a deeper connection between horse and human.
In many ways the process begins with us.
Shifting our focus toward right relationship can help us move beyond rigid habits or limiting beliefs about training. It encourages us to approach horses with curiosity, presence and respect.
Often the result is increased confidence for both horse and human, along with a deeper awareness of breath, timing, intention and feel.
These lessons rarely remain confined to the round yard. They tend to ripple outward into the rest of our lives.
If you work with horses, you might like to reflect on a few simple questions.
What are your core values when working with your horse?
What does right relationship mean to you?
Is it something you actively cultivate in your work?
Sometimes the most valuable insights begin with questions rather than answers.